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Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today...or flash them your boobs. Strangers love boobs!
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It’s called Lunch.
I saw a poor old lady fall over today, at least I presume she was poor, she only had $ 1,20 in her purse
I still water my dead plants every 3 months. Just in case...
Mario Bros. Plumbing ????? (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.
I’m too young to be too old for everything.
With Halo 4, Black Ops II and Assasins Creed III, I think November might register the lowest teen pregnancy rates in a long time!
I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me Limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking?
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead but other people do. The same is true when you are stupid.
Why do people say "Tuna Fish sandwich?" That`s like saying "Chicken Bird sandwich."
“Let’s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise” – sports fans
I only get religious when scratching off lottery tickets.
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books
You washed your hands? Be honest. Your hands washed each other, and you just watched like a sick freak.