Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love finding money in my clothes. It`s like a gift to me... from me. :)
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it’s only Thursday.
I`d better check my phone for texts from friends. *checks phone* Well, I`d better get some friends...
Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired
I`m glad I know sign language. It`s pretty handy.
I don`t know if I should tip the bathroom attendant, or charge for letting him watch...
just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die." I´m pretty surprised "yell for help" wasn´t one of them.
Remember ... I can always make it look like an accident.
Thinking of opening a bar right next to a gym and call it “Decisions, Decisions”.
I went on two diets because there wasn’t enough food on just the one.
The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.
I just got this sudden urge to do something productive. Wait nope, false alarm.
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO
I hope when Bruce Willis dies, it`s from a Viagra overdose. That way the headline can read "Bruce Willis Died Hard".