Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a dog, or just a pizza.
Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail.
He said the spark between us was gone..so I tasered him..... Ill ask him again when he wakes up
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
I wonder if people that live in Hawaii have screensavers of bumper to bumper traffic?
Crazy people are never aware of their own insanity. I’m so glad I’m not a crazy person.
The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
Save electricity! Would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?
My mind says go to the gym but my heart says food.
I like to go to the bathroom with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me.
People who say "I hate to bother you" need to learn to hate it a little bit more.
Coca Cola: Because drinking black water seems like a solid life choice.
I`ve run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon.
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but i turned myself around and THAT`S what it`s all about