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"You`ve got a friend in me." - Cannibals, probably
The only "B" word you should call a woman is "beautiful"... B!tches love being called beautiful.
They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
I wonder what "don`t touch" is in Braille.
I`ve gotten to that age where nothing fits right anymore. Even my birthday suit looks like it needs ironing...
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since I got up… goodnight!
so, on a scale of one is to seven, which letter of the alphebet is your favourite colour?
When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure, When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure, When you drink Whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems, When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
How crazy is it that we used to say "three and a half inch floppy" with a straight face
It`s everyone`s favorite holiday season where we try to guess if that was a firework or gunshot
I`m not feeling myself today..... Perhaps I should feel someone else.
Just got nominated for an Oscar for my role as "man surprised his credit card was declined"
I`m broker than the Tooth Fairy in a house full of Meth addicts.
Chuck E Cheese: Because it`s never too early to introduce your children to gambling and bad nutrition.