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Attention fuels immaturity
That awkward moment when both your knees are bruised, but all you did was gardening
I bet if the movie "mirrors" releases part 3, the 1st victim will die while trying to take a selfie
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
nothing says i love you like, "im going to buy you new duct tape for your taillight, what color you want? "
Facebook needs a "settle down" button.. You tap on a friend`s profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately..
Scratch and Sniff Here [____] …Smells like glass, doesn’t it
Goodnight, good people - and nite nite to the naughty ones too!
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon.
An egg salad is really just a chicken salad that is really underdone.
Being fat = Lowers your chance of getting kidnapped.
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!
So far I’ve spent most of 2014 flipping off the weather channel.
Beautiful people are more beautiful when surrounded by ugly people
"Estimated Time of Arrival" on the GPS. Challenge accepted!