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Those kids in the Trix commercials were real jerks. Why couldn’t they just share their cereal with the rabbit?
WARNING:: going to bed on Sunday will cause Monday.
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
It’s all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call.
My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He`s told every other person on earth and I didn`t want y`all to be out of the loop.
If you replace the "W" in "where" "what" and "when" with "T" you get answers to the questions.
Why procrastinate today when you can procrastinate tomorrow?
Dating someone based only on looks is so shallow. Consider other things, like, do they have a lot of money.
After how long is it ok to tell your friends that they are imaginary?
Water is life; without it we wouldn’t have coffee, whiskey or beer.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did, not screaming for their lives like the passengers in the back of his truck
If “dress for the job you want” were true, there would be a lot more people wearing capes.
*Knocks on door* Hey open up. You didn`t reply to my last 43 inbox messages & then you updated about a guy who keeps annoying you. You need help?
<-- Is my name! Isn`t it awesome!?
My ex was an absolute treasure and by treasure I mean you`ll need a shovel and map to find him.