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I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
Since there’s only one of me, does that make me an endangered species?
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
If I rapped I would have to start doing way more stuff because only so many things rhyme with couch.
Do you ever think about sh!t you did in the past and just go why the f*ck did nobody punch me in the face?
As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
I get my cardio from caffeine...
I do not argue, I explain why I’m right.
How come dogs aren’t ticklish?
I thought there was a spider on the rug, but it was just some yarn. It’s dead yarn now, though.
Depending on how you look at it, half of 8 could be 4, 3, or 0.
Instead of going to Starbucks, I make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
I think some people just log into Facebook just to send me game requests.