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I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
I’ve probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge.
I hit a new low today and used a cheat code on Wii Fit
The moment you stop giving a damn is the moment things get easier and better.
My girlfriend ended up with a broken nose today because she wouldn`t listen to me... I said,"You`re about to walk into a lamppost."
When I`m in an elevator with a stranger I generally hold their hand to let them know that they`re safe
My favorite Yoga Pose is the Upward Facing Couch Potato.
I bought a Tempurpedic mattress so that I’ll have an excuse to go to sleep with a giant glass of wine every night.
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
She deleted and blocked me so I guess you can say we`re taking it slow now.
when I`m quiet, strangers look at me and think I`m shy. People who know me think: OMG! he`s thinking! EVERYBODY RUN!
Me on New Years Eve: “I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.”
Whenever somebody said they did something "Like a Boss" I assume that they did nothing but took all the credit for it.
I threw a shotgun shell at my daughter`s date. ..then I told him it`s much faster after 11pm
You can tell a lot about a woman by how she slices brownies. For example: if she throws the knife at you, you should pick up some Midol.