Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

It`s nice to know I`m wanted....even if it`s only by the Police!
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Sorry I referred to your baby shower as a gift extortion party.
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A bee will knowingly risk its own life just to cause you a little pain. I can totally relate to that feeling.
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This liquor store needs a dollar menu.
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Every day is a struggle between wanting to lose weight and wanting to eat my weight in pizza.
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Honestly, I`m so awesome that I wish I could meet myself and get my own autograph.
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Relax, we`re all crazy. It`s not a competition.
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My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
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I wish I could just cut out the middleman and have the light honk when it turns green.
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Yes, autocorrect, that`s right. I hate that stupid ditch
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If those Febreeze commercials with rooms filled with stinking, rotting garbage convince you to buy their product. Here`s a heads up for you........ You need to clean your freaking house!!!
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If you want to pick up girls ....Keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
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Why Couldn`t Snoop Dogg & Dr.Dre Get On The Bus ... Because They Forgot 50 Cent
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You never know what you have until you clean your room.
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If you want to be remembered after you die, borrow money from everyone you know.
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