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Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
You have advice? For me? I have a $5 Starbucks gift card that`s older than you.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it´s still on the list.
I pointed to two hags sitting across the bar from us and told my friend "That`s us in 10 years". She said "That`s a mirror".
McDonalds ... closing thigh gaps since 1967.
This cashier looked at my 12 bottles of weed spray so weirdly, I suspect she`s never broken a lawnmower before.
Now that I know how many calories there are in a pint of beer , I have decided to stop eating.
No, I don`t need a Fitbit. I can count to 45 by myself.
No matter how many lives you have in Candy Crush, you’ll still never get your own back.
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
Ya know what I really hate about mornings? People start talking to me!
When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my girlfriend how her day was.
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice
If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee.