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There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else`s house.
Sometimes it`s nice to know karma is still a feisty little b!tch.
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone
When I say ‘it’s a long story’, it doesn’t mean it’s actually a long story. It means I just don’t want to tell you.
New word of the day: Stupidiot!!
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? ;)
Wait, there`s a "wrong hole"?
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
Sometimes I wonder if these old men sitting on the benches in the mall waiting on their wives to finish shopping were old when they sat down!?
What do people mean "get ready for bed"? I am ALWAYS ready for bed.
Wear black: all the non-conformists are doing it.
Chickens: The only animals you eat before they`re born AND after they`re dead.
Do you ever look through old pictures and wonder, “Where the hell did that shirt go?”