Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My new plan is to ignore my problems until they become hilarious stories.
When I’m getting off a crowded elevator I like to turn & look at someone who’s staying on and say,, “You’re in charge while I’m gone.”
I`m an optimist. I didn`t lose a sock in the dryer. I found an extra one!
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
Dear Haters, I have so much more for you to be mad at me for...please be patient.
Work is the result of failing to procrastinate effectively.
Chuck Norris doesn`t flush the toilet...he just scare the sh!t out of it.
You know you`re broke when your bank flags deposits as suspicious activity.
Is it so much to ask that everyone who ever wronged me be forced to leave the country and change their identity?
hearing that Jesus loves you is very nice unless you`re in a Mexican prison
Confucius would have been great at Status Updates......
If a picture is worth a thousand words then why does everyone only buy Playboy magazines for the articles?
My girlfriend left the lights on, on her Smart Car last night. This morning I had to jump start it with my Android.
It`s funny how my car drives slower on the way to work, than when I`m on my way home.
If you have to tell us that you`ve been going to the gym, you probably need to go more often....