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If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
Do you think people in Mexico ever say, "Those jobs keep stealing all our Mexic?ns!"
Happy Fat Tuesday! Join me again tomorrow on I`m still fat Wednesday
Every paper towel commercial just reminds me that the cleanest option is to just not have children.
Vampire selfies are just phones floating in front of bathroom mirrors.
If you were a cookie, you’d be a whoreo.
As soon as you think “maybe I can get up early and just finish it tomorrow” you’ve already lost.
I don´t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
You know it`s getting bad when the voices in your head start texting you
Work is one long game of back and forth emails with cleverly disguised f*ck you`s.
Roses are cars, violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Eyeballs.
Nice tan, what`s your race? Carrot?
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.