Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If people are what they eat, some people must eat a lot of stupid.
People who try to test my patience don`t realize it`s an exam I don`t plan on passing
I saw a piece of chewing gum in the urinal today and thought, boy that must have been really painful.
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
Reminiscing isn’t as fun as it used to be.
Life Tip: Tell your guests your house was just broken into and fake cry, they will clean it for free!
Well, THAT Jehovah`s Witness isn`t going to forget anytime soon what they witnessed when I answered the door.
I hate it when people call dogs "stupid". I mean, when was the last time you saw a dog step in human poop?
The hour that we lose this weekend is the one that I was planning on going to the gym.
I was about to do something awesome, again, but I told myself “Enough is enough, that’s plenty of awesome for one day”
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
My psychiatrist told me I need to love myself more. I was like, "damn doc I`m already up to 3 times a day"
LIFE HACK: Sneak into doctor`s waiting rooms instead of subscribing to magazines.
I secretly like days when none of my Facebook friends have birthdays.
Whoever said "Just showing up is half the battle" (a) didn`t understand battles and (b) probably died quickly after showing up.