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I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.
Damn it. I missed the number of the day on Sesame Street and now I don`t know how many pills to take.
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
Saying an actors performance was unbelievable is actually an insult.
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
I once overdosed on Viagra. My wife took it really hard.
cofeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee... Wheeeeeeeeee!
There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
I never get caught because I`ve watched all 27 seasons of Cops..
Whoever left me in charge of my own destiny has a lot of explaining to do.
What makes fancy green beans fancy?
When I`m home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
If you ring my door bell you better be the pizza guy or a sexy naked lady ... with a pizza.
During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.