π Daily Silly Status
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Whoever is in charge of making sure I donΒ΄t do dumb stuff is fired.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free...
Do you ever get the feeling that youβre being watched? Because if itβs bothering you, Iβll stop.
Someday, somewhere, somehow Iβm going to do something.
This is my first lame status of the year. Enjoy!
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never received any d!ck pics
If you can`t celebrate Valentine`s Day with someone you love, forget about it at a bar that you like...
Donβt get me wrong. I totally hear what youβre sayingβ¦I just donβt care.
Man I wanna throw a book at someones face and be like "I Facebooked you!"
I`m giving up procrastination for Lent ... starting tomorrow.
Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
How I talk: 25% swearing, 25% sarcasm 50% a combination of both.
I hope common sense is the next cool trend.
I didn`t see anyone important today, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow.
The best part about pooping with the bathroom door open in the morning is being able to see everyones face at Starbucks.