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The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I posted "Help, I am in an Iranian prison" everyone would be like "haha good one"
facebook cuz am too old to have imaginery friends
The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
There’s a bald spot in my yard so I’m gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over.
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year.
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day............ Palm Sunday is just around the corner
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
Dude, next time you wanna wave at me, please use more than one finger.
Win every argument simply by repeating your opponent`s last sentence in a whiny voice.
Why do they call a status a status if it already happened? I mean, shouldnt it be called History?
My boss told me that if I can`t show up sober then don`t bother coming to work tomorrow. Three day weekend!
Taken names of employees from various stores and calling in sick for them, just to make it feel like I have a job. . .
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
I`d love to drown my problems... I just can`t get my spouse to go swimming!