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Does lying face down on this carpet make me look unsociable?
It is days like today that I am glad that we all don`t live in a Yellow Submarine. Well at least not in the same one.
Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
How old were you when you found out your parents were using Santa Claus as a behavior-modification tool?
Just once I’d like to learn something the easy way.
What`s the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?
People who say, “Happy New Year” to you on the 4th of January are not really your friends.
Some mornings it`s best just to fill the sink with coffee, dunk you head in, and suck.
It`s time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it`s over
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
Beer: Giving you the courage to talk to women but taking away the ability to make sense.
The last time I went to a nude beach I got a ticket. The officer said I was applying my sunscreen...Too Fast.
If we’re not supposed to eat late, then why is there a light in the fridge?
Just tried to put my seatbelt on ... at my desk ... I`m pretty.
You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!