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A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
I’m sick of closing out every job interview with “I was young. I needed the money.”
Never , under any circumstances , take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. O_o
Who do you have to sleep with around here to sleep with someone around here?!
You`re not laughing out loud. You know it and I know it
There is no greater stress than the stress of a guy who forgot his phone & left it at home with his wife.
You know your old when your back goes out more than you do.
If your talking behind my back then guess what? Your in a pretty good position to kiss my a$$!!!!
The human race is the only one that lets its idiots live a full life...
Golf is such a strange game. You shout four, shoot six, and write down five.
I need a six month vacation Twice a year.
you`re about as useless as a red light in grand theft auto
When I see somebody get on one knee tying their shoe in public I get in front of them, happy cry, and say “Oh my GOD, I will, YES-YESS!”
Let’s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
Whoever said "money doesn`t grow on trees" has obviously never sold weed.