Daily Silly Status

If I don`t make at least one person scream, "WTF" then my day is not done yet.

To error is human, to forgive is divine, to keep your damn mouth shut is much appreciated.

Your family tree has a couple of coconuts

If, in your relationship, you hear "You`re suffocating me", you`re probably not holding down the pillow hard enough.

I`m not saying women are smarter than men, but it`s kinda ironic that there`s so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders.

Do these `Skinny Jeans` make my blood circulation look more than purple or less than purple?

It would be cool if you heard a thunder bug a few seconds after you saw a lightning bug.

FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END

I stayed at a really nice, really fancy hotel this weekend. The towels were so thick I could hardly get my suitcase shut.

I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy

I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision.

What happens in Vegas never happens to me

I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.

It should be socially acceptable to end any boring conversation by shouting "UNSUBSCRIBE!"

My wife is great at multitasking. She can be mad at me for five different things at the same time.