😄 Daily Silly Status
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Ziploc`s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different than mine.
Relationships are like batteries, they have a positive & a negative side. And you end up whacking your remote instead of changing them.
When I come home 4 the holidays I throw $40 on the table & say "Look we`re keeping the thermostat at 75, and we`re turning on some lights."
If you don`t pay your exorcist do you get repossessed?
If you catch me in the morning in a yoga position... more than likely I passed out drunk that way.
The only thing creepier than seeing a guy in a Speedo is seeing a guy in a Speedo staring back at you
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
"Never go to bed angry" is the worst advice ever. I haven`t slept in a week!
Why did the Fresh Prince have to take a cab anyways? How sh!tty was that family that no one would pick him up from the airport?
Things could be worse ... sex could be fattening
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?
Sometimes the problem with reality is the lack of background music.
I think germs are so nice for waiting 5 seconds before attacking food that falls on the floor.
Why is "Pissed" an expression of being upset? I`ve never been so mad that I pee`d myself.
My 5 year plan is to watch Netflix. All of it.