Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you really know me or am I just an idea that you`ve built in your head?
Never , under any circumstances , take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. O_o
We`re all just nudists in disguise.
I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
My business card is just a label I peeled off a beer bottle.
One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.
Sorry I can’t make it to your party tonight. I have to get up really early tomorrow afternoon.
My boss called me lazy and said I had poor communication skills... I almost responded
Why are people with BAD breath always wanting to tell me a secret?
What`s the nutritional value of an entire tube of cherry Chapstick? Asking for my two year old.
It`s so cold, I just got a $5 foot long from subway, but by the time I got back to my car it was only 6 inches.
The doctor said I should be drinking more whiskey. Also, I’m calling myself “the doctor” now.
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors, and Hey, All of them got laid.
If it lasts 4 hours I`m not only callin a Dr, I`m callin everybody!!
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.