Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
"Waiter, I`d like to send this back" -m`am, I believe that`s your husband.
Saw my Ex with some guy at a bar last night... so I ordered a beer, took a few sips then gave her date the rest of my drink... Walked away.
I have done some truly amazing things to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube.
I wonder what I did in a previous life to get reincarnated as me...
I’m bored enough to clean.
Guess what I saw today ... Everything I looked at. ;)
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
YouTube "This video is not available in your country". where the hell am I from? NARNIA?
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat…It’s watching what other people eat.
If my calculations are correct, I can retire about 5 years after I die.
you know it`s a good fart when it wakes you from a dead sleep and you pull a butt muscle at the same time.
Hard liquor because I don`t don`t have time or patience to sit around drinking 9 bottles of wine every day
They don`t say "Get down Mr. President" anymore. Now they just shout, "Donald Duck!"
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you`ll be really far away from me with your motivational nonsense.