šŸ˜„ Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 25,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Those friends who like and at the same time unlike my statuses please you`re increasing my blood pressure!
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The first person who discovered how to make popcorn must have been like "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!"
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I bet blind people think farts are funnier than deaf people.
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I`m so bored at work that I`m actually doing my job.
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just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
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Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don`t apply the brakes
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You know why it`s called almond milk? Cuz you can`t say nut juice with a straight face
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Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who can`t take care of himself.
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If you want to take a bank teller out on a date, just ask her. Don`t slip her a note at the window. Trust me on this.
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Just tried to put my seatbelt on ... at my desk ... I`m pretty.
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You know you`re getting old when Happy Hour is a nap.
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You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.
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I just hope people who say "Jesus is my co-pilot" realize he`s a 1st century carpenter with no time in a flight simulator.
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Does this floor I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?
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Dear single guys; open a pet shop selling cats. Let the single ladies come to you.
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