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I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
"Waiter, I`d like to send this back" -m`am, I believe that`s your husband.
Saw my Ex with some guy at a bar last night... so I ordered a beer, took a few sips then gave her date the rest of my drink... Walked away.
I have done some truly amazing things to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube.
I wonder what I did in a previous life to get reincarnated as me...
I’m bored enough to clean.
Guess what I saw today ... Everything I looked at. ;)
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
YouTube "This video is not available in your country". where the hell am I from? NARNIA?
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat…It’s watching what other people eat.
If my calculations are correct, I can retire about 5 years after I die.
you know it`s a good fart when it wakes you from a dead sleep and you pull a butt muscle at the same time.
Hard liquor because I don`t don`t have time or patience to sit around drinking 9 bottles of wine every day
They don`t say "Get down Mr. President" anymore. Now they just shout, "Donald Duck!"
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you`ll be really far away from me with your motivational nonsense.