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Oh my gosh! It`s a Hot Wheels car! Something you never want to hear during a prostate exam.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
like this if you are against animal cruelty
Mad respect to people who can stop eating when they`re full.
Remember when the world ended last year?
"Okay" means you`re in the clear. "K" means you`re better off not coming home. Fellas, you know what I`m talking about.
Every time I hear the phrase, "Fire at will!", I can`t help but wonder, "What did Will do?!"
No one`s lazier than the guy who came up with the name for Juicy Juice.
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
Just got legitimately excited when I remembered I can pay a person to drive a pizza to my house
I think the Worst Part about admitting you are an Alcoholic ..is People expect you to Quit Drinking.
Wow bro, that pot leaf tattoo on your neck really makes the colors of your Burger King uniform pop.
I will pay good money to anyone who can take me from work, make it look like an abduction and tuck me back into bed.
I finally had the talk with my kids. I told them that in the wild animals eat their young so they better get their sh!t together.
YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME is not a good thing to say to your boss.