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How to make friends: 1. Tell people you have weed.
This Donut-Scented Car Air Freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
Ok advertisers, for the last time. I’m playing a game I downloaded for free. So, the fact that you chose to advertise here means your product is grossly overpriced…
A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
"5 React 2 Gum-- Experiences may vary. Stimulate your senses!"-- Same effect as LSD, but chewier.
Warning!! Today I will be coloring OUTSIDE the lines..
screw flowers, its all about chia pets ;)
If you have alphabet fridge magnets, and morals. You probably shouldn`t invite me over.
Didn`t leave home today. It was too peopley out there.
My wife complains about everything I do. It`s like she doesn`t know there are "Sexy singles in my area" that want to meet with me.
Life is just better when you’re laughing.
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.
People who really love their jobs are annoying. Keep that sh!t to yourself.
If Jesus was the son of Mary and he was the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a Little Lamb?
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis