Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To those that manufacture and market tight, thin yoga pants to fit college girls; I love you man.
Nothing says you`re ugly like Facebook asking, "are you sure you want to make this your profile picture ?"
The moment you stop giving a damn is the moment things get easier and better.
I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...
Was born with a rare condition called "Amazing"
They should make an app that tells me how many Oreos I can eat for every mile I jog.
Honking your horn won´t make them go any faster, but at least they´ll know that you´re an asshole.
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. “My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl.”
Why does Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell insurance. Is there something dirty about insurance we should know about?
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
The hay in baby Jesus`s manger came from Christian Bales.
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
I was stood in front of the mirror last night, admiring my six pack. Then it occurred to me, why the f*ck am I not drinking it?
I’m not a “stalker”. I want to make sure you’re okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.
I don`t know why you are complaining about your appearance, your personality is even worse.