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I love the show Gotham....OBSESSED!!! But they constantly have the Twitter hashtag #gotham in the corner of the screen, and I`m always thinking..."No I don`t have ham! But I want ham." Sometimes I miss parts of the showing thinking about the fact that I don`t have ham..... Obviously I need to have ham on the menu every Monday night. #noidontgotham
Teleportation seems like an awesome idea until the creepy guy from down the street is suddenly washing your back in the shower.
The guy who decided how to spell bologna was clearly in over his head.
Ever get the feeling someone is watching you when you sleep? Yeah, sorry about that.
This prefessor`s nuts. He keeps saying pie is square. I know better, pies are round, cakes are square!
I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies aren’t real.
Exercise makes you look better naked. Alcohol does the same, you pick..
That awkward moment when a homeless person walks up to you at a Coinstar machine.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they’re going to put you in one.
TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
I think I may have just inadvertently accomplished something!!!
Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
My favorite sex position is, "don`t tell anyone we did this".
People who say you can´t buy happiness just don´t know where to shop.
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.