😄 Daily Silly Status
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everybody has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and i`m just over here like `i love food`.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God or man has rested.
My girlfriend said she wasn`t impressed and felt she needed a man with at least 6 inches. So I folded it in half.
Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia and you`ll see a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
I don`t care if you`re here to murder me - we take our shoes off in this house.
If you still pay for porn I just want you to know I have a butter churner and an abacus for sale.
If you think your wife has a great sense of humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes. Not the best idea a man ever had ;)
Hate when my GF asks me to hold her purse at the grocery store line cause I really don`t like being that guy holding two purses.
No great story started with someone drinking water.
I don`t know about you....but I have thought about running away from home way more as an adult than I ever did as a kid.
Why isn`t Wendy`s girl fat? You would think that someone who eats so many Baconators, chicken sandwiches and other burgers, would be quite the porker by now.
Never date someone that works for your cell phone provider. Just sayin
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at a floor and think, "I`d so tap that."