Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
I don`t play sports, the only sport I play is shopping. But there`s a lot of walking involved in that. Running sometimes if there`s a sale.
Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
The scariest US president was Rushmore, because he had 4 heads
anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn`t matter what. I just need something to drink to.
So last night I put a whopee cushion on moms chair, waited and finally heard it go off.. I walk in with a massive smile on my face to find out that she hadn`t even sat on it yet.
I wonder if the two guys arguing over r2d2 and roadrunner ever get laid.
Life tip: if someone comes out of a bathroom sweating, do not go in that bathroom.
I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
My haters only have one advantage over me. They can kiss my a$$, I can`t.
What`s this g-mail? I just got used to e-mail. And why did they skip f-mail?
Played Naked Twister last night and man, did it get RAUNCHY!....I can`t imagine what it would be like with other people.
The only thing I can fix in this world tonight is another drink.