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At long last, I`ve finished my research into the effect alcohol has on physical movement.....The results were, quite frankly, staggering.
Some days I’d like to take a chainsaw and cut a few branches off my family tree.
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
You drink too much, swear too much and your morals are questionable. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a friend.
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
I hate it when a dog starts barking and then every other dog nearby retweets him.
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy. But add me on Facebook and I`ll stalk you (maybe)
Relationship status: I make my own sandwiches.
I can`t wait to be rich so I can price things from high to low instead of low to high when shopping online.
it`s a fact that flies on screens are not afraid of cursors
The only thing us men clean at home is our browser history
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
I`m not just living paycheck to paycheck. I`m living from paycheck to change jar to scrap aluminum to liquor store to paycheck.
I`m going crazy! Get in, you`re riding shotgun!
Don`t EVER break a pinky promise. That sh!t is LEGIT.