Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.
I`d feel totally comfortable dating a zombie because I`d know she loved me for my brains and not just my body.
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
TEIAM - problem solved
I`ve taken my kids all over the country, but their favorite place to be is still "in the way."
My ex-wife once left a note on the fridge: "It`s not working. I can`t take it anymore. Gone to stay with Friends." I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold. Not sure what she was talking about!
Is beer cheaper on cyber monday?
After much thought and careful consideration, I`ve decided not to do a damn thing today.
If these people don’t start giving better advice, I’m no longer going to allow them in my head.
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
I always stip to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porn starts off.
Why is it the less money someone makes the better they are at reproducing?
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
If I ever get arrested I am going to ask for a status update instead of a phone call.
Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride