Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What does Miley Cyrus have for dinner on Christmas? Twerky :`)
If I could move things by telekinesis I`d squeeze people`s insides and make them fart.
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
I removed my windshield wipers and now I don`t get parking tickets. Suck it meter maids!
I`d like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight… Hoping to get a PS4 in return.
Never underestimate a girl’s ability to find things out.
Imagine taking your girlfriend to your friends house for the 1st time, and her phone automatically connects to his password protected wifi.
Relationship status: Are you gonna eat that?
If there is anything I learned from 80`s movies it`s that I`m the best around, and nothing is ever gonna keep me down
I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
I come from a long line of successful people. I have successfully stopped that tradition.
It should really be called teethpaste.