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I`m glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It`s really come in handy this parallelogram season.
Sadly, I don`t think anyone has Wang Chunged once tonight... :(
So what the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Their house paint is peeling.
Of all the lies I`ve told in my life, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
I sooo did not want to go on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere.
To the dude I just saw driving a beat up Ford mini van with spare tire and dream catcher on mirror: that dream catchers not working dude!
This status has been censored by Facebook
I know u r but what am I ?
Whenever I`m feeling down... I try to make sure my nails are clipped.
If a picture is worth a thousand words then why does everyone only buy Playboy magazines for the articles?
Campers: Nature`s way of feeding mosquitoes.
Never be mean to nerds. You never know, one day you might be working for them!
Drinking Tip: Never buy the first round cause that`s when people care what they`re drinking!
So far this is the oldest I`ve ever been.
If you catch me doing a selfie at work, at least offer to take the pic for me.