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i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
I just want someone who will love me for the a$$hole that I am ;)
One of the most important things in life is perserverance. Hang on...perseveren...no, perserveer...pesever… oh, never mind.....
At the end of the day, it`s 11:59pm.
To all my Facebook friends. Have a happy St. Patrick`s day, and all the festivities this weekend. Stay safe, enjoy life, and if you by chance happen to find a bartender who is bad at math...give me a call :)
Honestly, I’ver never see anyone fall because of a banana.
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
Shall I compare thee to a Summer`s Eve? For thou art a douche.
I`m not always rude. Sometimes I`m sleeping.
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
How to tell if your wife is mad at you - Step 1. She is
I drink coffee for your protection.
I love giving orders. My favorite is "Another one. And make it a double."
If the cupcake has some green sprinkles on it, it`s a vegetable, right?
I thought 50 shades of gray was just a makeup application guide for goth chicks