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Today I will kick a$$, and make dreams happen...but first, Coffee.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
Roses are red. Monsters are green. Just look in the mirror. You`ll know what I mean.
The kids left w/my parents for a week. I plan to run around the house for an hour yelling "woo hoo", but after that my schedule is wide open
Dear future husband, hereβs a few things you need to know If you want to be my one and only all my life. I will not be an ex wife .. only a widow
If everybody was consistently as determined as they are when they carry all groceries in one trip, this world would be in a better place.
You think seven years is bad for breaking a mirror? Try breaking a condom.
My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks
Example of the difference between `You`re`and `Your`: 1. "You`re nuts" = "You are nuts" 2. "Your nuts" = "What about my nuts?"
I just finished writing an article on "How To Improve Your Memory"- But I forgot where I kept it!!
For someone who can`t put on a pair of socks without falling over, I sure do manage to get a lot done every day.
People are obsessed with this storm but in a couple months no one will talk about it anymore, which is why they named it after the movie Juno.
I hate it when I open my fridge and get punched by a bear... =/
When I was little I didn`t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it`s obvious that my parents didn`t care either.
Always carry a knife. You never know when cake might happen.