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The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer.
If you’re not fully satisfied with your life, do something about it. Or complain about it on the internet. Whatever you prefer.
superbowl: the only time I actually look forward to watching commericals.
I don`t know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
The best part of time travel will be sleeping until noon and making it to work on time at 8am.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key
I don`t know who you are, but if you don`t stop sending me phone books, I will find you.....and I will smack you with it
The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn`t say anything important, it`s to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
In a parallel universe calories are trying to burn people.
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other
The funny moment when a fat kid says "that`s how I roll".
I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.