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I`ve single handedly defeated my erection.
My wife gives me the speaking treatment.
I wish I could use Shazam to identify people when I cant remember their name.
I hate it when I put a status and you don`t like it,example this one.
Dating someone based only on looks is so shallow. Consider other things, like, do they have a lot of money.
If I had known "cuties" were little oranges when my wife asked me to "bring a few home," I could have avoided these awkward introductions.
I`m awkward when people compliment me. "Nice hair" "Thanks, I grew it myself"
I like to test the waters by pushing people in.
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
I`m the opposite of psychic. I don`t even know what I`m thinking! ;)
Having a dirty mind makes simple conversation much more exciting!
I`m the type of person who will throw away the manual and ponder for 3 hours "where the hell do I start"
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart or at Taco Bell.
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........