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Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called “fun sized” should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
I read that a banana a day will help keep your colon clean. I just wish they would’ve mentioned that you’re supposed to eat them.....
I`ve been having really bad headaches lately. The doctor said they were all in my head.
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
Todays hot tip: Boomerangs and Attention Deficit Disorder don`t mix.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a friend.
No one in my family has ever actually used the Olive Garden gift card. We just keep passing it down from generation to generation.
Hey Guys, I don’t have Instagram but I just wanted to let you know that I had oatmeal for breakfast. No sugar, mixed with water.
If you didn’t want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn`t have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.
Please pray for the people still playing Farmville on Facebook.
Interesting fact: Prior to the creation of hummus and ranch dressing nobody ate uncooked vegetables.
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon.
A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn`t eat.
Slipped on black ice today, I thought it was regular ice at first, but when I stood up, my wallet was gone.