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Just found some old sex coupons I got from an ex for my b-day. Any of you ladies take competitor`s coupons?
Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
I`m watching a show about surviving in the wild in case I ever decide to log off and go outside.
If I owned an auto collision shop, I’d name it “Auto Correct.”
$5.99 Trojan condoms or $19.99 Huggies diapers. Choose wisely...
I may not be a veterinarian, but I know a horses a$$ when I meet one.
The closest I`ve ever come to eating better is eating butter.
I don`t have to run faster than the lion. I just have to run faster than you.
So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today.
i wasnt tht drunk u was holding a ballon thinking it was a comdom
Soon ovens will come with webcams and wireless connections so that posting photos of your dinner will be even easier.
When I go into a bar I shout out "YOU CHEATING WHORE!" Whoever turns around is who I`m buying drinks for.
Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?
My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?