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My nose is "running", that`s all the exercise I can handle for one day.......
One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn`t affect the price of Vodka!
Someone told me I`m immature and need to grow up. Guess who`s not allowed in my treehouse now.
500 + friends... and not one of you saw where I put the remote?
The sole purpose of a child`s middle name, is so he can tell when he`s really in trouble.
Those awkward moments when you catch yourself feeling frustrated with your kids for being just like you....
I wasn`t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
Weird how “news” and “fact checking” are treated like two separate concepts these days.
For the record "Wanna do it?" is not foreplay....
People who cook Hot Pockets in the oven, Where are you getting all this free time?
I wonder if I could get a job as a babysitter if I referenced my Facebook group admin experience.
You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”