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I hate it when I buy organic veggies but when I get them home I find out they are regular frosted donuts...
There is a method to my madness....and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable.....
´s status message is better than yours
Here Friday Friday...come on...hurry up! Oh no you don`t! You come when I call you damn it! Get your a$$ over here. ... good boy!
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble people, respect it!
I’m not saying don’t trust the internet but there’s an alarming discrepancy between the number of ipads I’ve won & the number of ipads I own.
I put a bumper sticker that says "Honk if You Think I`m Sexy" on my car. Then I wait at green lights until I feel better about myself.
I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant
Who ever said, "The customer is always right", clearly never worked with the public a day in their life.
My dentist said that bacon and soda works the same as toothpaste. Friends have said she meant baking soda....but I disagree. :)
Please pray for the people still playing Farmville on Facebook.
The girl on the flyer is never at the club.
Have you ever held your money and thought "I hope this hasn´t been up a stripper´s butt"
Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.