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You feel naked without your phone, I feel naked without my clothes.
Today`s secret word is "epic". When someone says the secret word scream real loud and punch them in the face.
Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
Honk if you are reading this.
Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
Can Walmart be a feeling? I think that`s how I feel today.
Why the hell do we still use snow shovels when flame throwers are available?
If by "help decorate the tree" you mean drinking beer on the couch yelling out everything you`re doing wrong, then yeah, count me in.
my boss told me to start the presentation with a joke,so I showed my payslip.
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
Everyone’s beautiful on the inside. Some people just need a few good stab holes to let that beauty out.
I feel like people who don`t have at least one bottle of expired salad dressing in the fridge, really have their lives together.
They said money can`t by happiness. But it can buy tattoos, car parts, and beer. What else could we need?
You ever notice “q”, “p”, “b” and “d” is the same letter but with a different angle.