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Before I die, I`m putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames.
Legally,It´s questionable. Morally,It´s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
Don`t exercise ... fat people are harder to kidnap
State of mind is in no mind to state its state of mind.
I have two feelings, it`s either "I`m hungry" or "I shouldn`t have eaten this much"
Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?
To the 84yo woman that won the $591 million dollar PowerBall, sup baby ;)
Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like ten so you can choose.
Don`t put off until tomorrow what you can avoid the rest of your life.
Thanks for calling me to tell me you just sent that email
If horror movies have taught me anything, it`s lock up your butcher knives if your child addresses you as "mother" or "father."
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.
I haven`t seen any new episodes of Gilligan`s Island in awhile... I hope they`re OK.
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds.