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Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
People always get offended when you call their baby ugly, but they never understand that they`ve offended you by showing you an ugly baby.
Its a shame I don`t have 5 incomes to go with my 5 personalities.. Damn free loaders
When my boss says, "women of a certain age" then looks at me, it`s ok to stab her with a letter opener, right?
Boobs, because you can`t motorboat a personality.
Fart jokes ain`t funny, they stink.
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways
Unless your kids fundraiser is selling whisley, I`m not really interested
is having one of those days where they feels like lighting someones face on fire and then trying to put it out with a fork
They said I couldn`t drink or operate machinery on my medication. But here I am…Driving a forklift…Sipping a beer…Lifting up my boss`s car…
Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
It`s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches...
Okay restaurants. Enough with the clever bathroom signs. A simple M and F will do. Sincerely, drunk people.
No thank you, I don`t need a coaster. I won`t be putting my drink down.
Now that there is no FBI director we can finally make copies of VHS tapes