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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
The recipe said β€œSet the oven to 180 degrees,” so I did, but now I can’t open it because the door faces the wall.
If I had any self control I`d probably eat that too.
*breaking news music plays* Last thought of the night: Why is now everyone talkin` bout "twerkin`"? Man, that shyt been `round since the days of Hammer pants and spandex shorts!!!!
Why are people with BAD breath always wanting to tell me a secret?
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
I`m all for change as long as it doesn`t directly affect my routine.
just wanted to tell the weekend that I love you and I will be back, I will not let the weekdays take me away from you.
After midnight, clowns aren`t funny.
Don`t get me wrong, Chinese food is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe that a chicken fried this rice.
Why is it never opportunity that`s knocking? Instead, it`s usually cops with a warrant...
I hate driving so much that I even ring for taxis on grand theft auto.
Admit it, we’ve all hidden our favorite food from the rest of our family.
I don`t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
On the 14th of December I`m going to call people and say "7 Days" then hang up...