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So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don`t taste any different.
Even if I’m mad at my wife I should be mature enough not to flush the toilet on purpose while she’s in the shower, but it turns out I’m not.
Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla.
When people tell me "You`re gonna regret that in the morning"...I sleep in till noon, because I`m a problem solver.
I think the tie was invented by someone who wanted to express how he felt about work but thought an actual noose was too obvious.
Just checked my Farmville for the first time in 2 years... It`s now a Walmart.
’Friday’ is my second favourite word starting from the letter `F`. :)
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don`t think of until too late
I hate when I`m about to hug somebody really sexy and my face hits the mirror!!
If you were a cookie, you’d be a whoreo.
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-
Great friends never let you do stupid things......alone
You know you`re drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on