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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
Imagine being the sort of person who knows what every button on a TV remote does.
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
Being rich doesn`t equal happiness but i`d rather cry in a ferrari
I`m sorry call me old fashioned,but i think your shorts should be longer than your vagina...
Everything I ever needed to know about structural engineering, I learned from Angry Birds.
Most kids today wont understand the joy of playing with the telephone cord.
m for Monday t for Tuesday wtf Wednesday Thursday Friday get it wtf
Life hack: You can park wherever you want if you put your hazard lights on and take your tire off.
i only drink on days that end with y
You fake your smile daily, then judge people for getting a fake tan.
Hi you`ve reached my voicemail,,, Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn`t be done over text
New rule: advertisements can no longer use adjectives. I`ll decide what is "fresh" and "natural" and "like a real girl" thank you very much.
I didn`t see anyone important today, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow.
just realised MR OWL ATE MY METAL WORM is exactly the same backwards