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One man`s trash is another man`s profile picture.
Ever gotten that awkward feeling? ..like the one when you realize you`re chewing on a BORROWED pencil?
OK. If you`re so smart, what`s the answer to this question?
Technology is outpacing my ability to come up with convincing lies that I didn`t get your message.
Hold boobs not grudges.
Things that make women emotional- 1) sad movies 2) love stories 3) anything 4) everything
Whenever I see a happy couple.... smiling, giggling, feeding each other food, whispering sweet nothings, very much in love..... I just wish I could give them a lie-detector test.
I don`t really like the idea that James Franco might be in my grandkids` history textbooks.
The one thing women don`t want to find in their stockings on christmas morning is their husband
Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
Ever since I installed AdBlock, all the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest.
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.
I assume that a Columbus Day sale means I can just walk into a store and take whatever I want.
My favorite exercise is somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
I don’t think my inner child is ever moving out.