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Kiss me I`m Irish, put a little tongue in it, I`m French too
My wife said we should try some role reversal in bed last night. So I said I had a headache.
Lazy is a very strong word, I like to call it “selective participation.”
Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!
I was offering free mammograms in the company parking lot long before my employer was doing it ... just sayin
If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
Halloween is the perfect time to redistribute those undesired condiment packets of ketchup, mustard, BBQ & soy sauce.
I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out.
hate it when someone says they are miserable when their profile picture says otherwise.
Don`t mistake my middle finger as an offer.
Instead of walking faster when someone holds a door open for me, I slow down to test their door holding resolve.
Let`s be honest... Gay Divorce Court would be the best thing to happen to daytime TV in the history of ever.
The “Slow Children Playing” signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?
I suppose cougar is a better term than old whore.