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I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
When I buy a horse, I`ll call it `MY FACE`..imagine all the ladies screaming `come on my face`
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain why i fell asleep on the kitchen counter… naked… again..
I never tell god how big my problems ,,, I tell my problems how big my god is
I really like it when women check me out, they seem to be able to work the register a lot better than men.
Why are kids obese? Maybe because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99.
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,400 hours. Roughly the same as one Monday on earth feels.
To all the lovely ladies here I`m not wearing green....to all the guys here, I know Ju-Jitsu. Just saying
"Let the chips fall where they may." -My kids when they`re eating chips on the couch.
"I can`t believe it`s not clutter." ~ A recovering hoarder
ever notice that on a phone the word "mom" is 666?
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
I wish all videos of people twerking ended with them catching on fire.
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you eat the entire thing.
Cute things to put in a letter to your boyfriend/girlfriend; I adore you. You complete me. Must stay 500 yards away at all times.