Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I would order delivery more often, but I just can`t stand lowering the drawbridge.
Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
I was so disturbed by hearing about all the people using marijuana today that I almost dropped my deep-fried Snickers bar into my 48oz Coke.
One minute without you feels like 60 seconds.
Sure, I can speak Spanish... "Margarita!"
I hope to get to the point in my life where I`m not excited about finding change on the ground.
If you receive an e-mail that says: ``FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS`` Don`t open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
It takes patience to listen, it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
I hate taking down Christmas decorations just to put up Halloween decorations...
I add "Drink Beer" to my weekend to-do list so I know I`ll at least get one thing done.
I`m at the facebook saloon, drinking all night long
Example of the difference between `You`re`and `Your`: 1. "You`re nuts" = "You are nuts" 2. "Your nuts" = "What about my nuts?"
I`m not getting married till Pizza Hut allows gift registry.