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Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
off to bed...evil schemes don`t dream themselves up.
Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies.
Dating a woman in 5 easy steps: 1. Be attentive 2. Don`t be too attentive 3. Show interest 4. Don`t show too much interest 5. Seek therapy
"I believe I can fry" - R Kelly filling out McDonald`s application
I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies aren’t real.
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra
I need my coffee before I start pretending to work.
I`ll never forget the first time we met. Although, I will keep trying.
I just sent out my daily text to a random number saying "I hit Zack with my truck. I`m going to need to use your hacksaw to cut him up.
I still like going into Burger King and ordering a McWhopper and a McFry.
Do Hostess employees have Snowball fights?
I hate when I`m admiring my good looks from a car`s window reflection and the people inside think I`m staring at them.
Hello... Modeling Agency? Ya, my selfie just got 34 likes I think I`m ready to go pro!
A lot of woman turn into good drivers. So if you`re a good driver, beware of women drivers when their making a turn.