Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer.
With the promise of Free Drinks or Food, Iām willing to go pretty much anywhere.
About 110,000 people contract chlamydia each month, more than signed up for Obamacare. Obamacare is less popular than chlamydia.
If life gives you lemons make grape juice than lay back and watch people wondering how you did it;)
This earthquake was the first time that I`ve ever said, "it was 4.7, but felt bigger."
Iād be 100x more motivated if Samuel L. Jackson yelled at me to get things done.
Did you know that doughnuts make your clothes shrink?
There`s both a McDonald`s and a blood pressure machine at our Walmart. Circle of life.
They say money talks, mine just waves goodbye.
I`m not saying Goldilocks was a piece of sh!t, but she broke into someone`s house and just started eating their breakfast.
Life tip: if someone comes out of a bathroom sweating, do not go in that bathroom.
I feel like doing something productive today. If I sit here long enough, maybe it will go away.
I refuse to celebrate Earth Day until Wind & Fire are recognized.
Suggested serving size is only for skinny people right?
Women are like bacon: they look good, they smell good, they taste good, and they will slowly kill you