Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I’ve offended you, please accept my apology. Then smack yourself in the face for getting offended by something on the Internet.
The black sheep always have the best stories.
Im pretty sure that my shrink this week mumbled "this is pure gold" under his breath
Men, if a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
I am not bossy, I just know how to do things the right way.
Scientists say the Universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons... They forgot to add Morons.
Bulimia: Twice the taste. Zero Calories.
I am not particularly bad at cooking but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster ?
I read that taking a long, hot bath can help with managing stress. Unfortunately my boss doesn`t approve.
Why aren’t mustaches called mouth brows?
Don`t get into a relationship with someone unless they love you as much as Kim Kardashian loves Kim Kardashian.
All my life I’ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
There are two key elements to success. 1) Never tell anyone everything you know.
So far this is the oldest I`ve ever been.
I don`t like people who hate certain group of people. But I get along very well with people who hate everybody equally.