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So many rules; so little time to break them.
Sugar` is the only word in English that starts with `su` and sounds like `sh`. I`m sure of it.
Is it "I febreezed my crotch" or "I febroze my crotch"?
Detroit and Chicago seem to be getting it right as of late. Limit all politicians to two terms. One in elected Office and one in prison.
Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.
Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
Just saw someone eat a kit kat bar without breaking off each individual piece and now I can`t stop twitching.
Some moments you remember all your life. Reading this, unfortunately, is not one of those moments.
Underachieving Sunday through Wednesday, overachieving Thursday through Saturday.
I don`t know what I would do without Facebook, but I`m sure it would be something more productive
Im so lazy today, I am going to watch fast and furious in slow motion.
Remember before Amazon reviews when you could just buy a toothbrush without 6 hours of research?
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.
Sorry I got really drunk and ended up being really mouthy and offensive at your party next week.
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"