Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?
Simply amazing how one word spoils the whole sentence: I’m getting laid.....off.
Saying, "We need to talk," is the most efficient way to freak someone out
People with jobs: It`s Friday!!! People without jobs: It`s Friday?
If you ain`t laughin, you ain`t livin!
It`s time to wave goodbye to winter. Guess what finger I`ll be using?
Do they have to play movies so loud at the theatre? I litterally have to scream into my phone.
Every night before bed I do this cute little thing where I stare at the Internet for 6.5 hours
My life is spent trying to get people to give me the silent treatment.
Most difficult job ever.......Working in a bubble wrap factory......Imagine the self control needed.
You chicks spend a lot of money on makeup to look pretty. Save your cash, buy him Alcohol.
The only solution to a problem is to find the source and Kill it.
Women forgive and forget but always make sure you don`t forget that they forgave you and forgot about it.
I don’t drink to forget, I… what was I saying?
Dear Social Media, thanks for showing me that I can like people. So long as I don`t have to see, touch, or smell them.