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I’m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
Hi, it’s me. I can’t get to the phone right now, even though it’s right here in my hand.
I don`t mind sharing the highway with other people. I just wish they`d use the part behind me.
Taking a nap is so risky. Like, when will I wake up? 30 minutes from now? 2 hours? 12 years? No one can be sure.
I still know what you did last summer........... cos you posted it on facebook!
I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
The reason i connot lie is because i like big butts.
Too bad the little guy "Tattoo" from Fantasy Island isn`t around anymore. They could ask HIM where the plane is!
I`ll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn`t go all the way.
I told my girlfriend I`m Harry Potter`s Godfather... She laughed hard and said "you can`t be Sirius"
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
If at first you don`t succeed...Do it the way your wife told you to. ;)
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles... game on!
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.