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Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
Tomorrow is International "Cook a Steak and Then Throw It to a Seagull" Day. Get involved. Don`t question it.
Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
This bank pen tastes like it`s been in a lot of other people`s mouths
If your man is reluctant to talk about his feelings, it’s probably because you haven’t told him what they are yet.
If you can`t fix it with duct tape or beer ... it ain`t worth fixin`
Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
Never look at your beer as half-empty. Look at it as you’re halfway to your next beer.
Scratch and Sniff Here [____] …Smells like glass, doesn’t it
It would be great if there was an app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
Sleep is just a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
Sometimes in the morning while drinking my coffee, I think about all the people I will be pissing off.
i dont have drain bramage.