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I wonder how many dads named their sons Luke just so they can say "Luke, I am your father."....
I`m not sure why they gave all these other people cars.
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy...so I came back drunk.
I have a land line just so that I still have the option to slam the phone down when I angrily hang up on someone.
Don’t trust people that dislike pizza. They’re probably not human.
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
Do whatever you want, and if it`s something you`re going to regret in the morning, sleep late.
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, “try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal”
I find myself highly addicted to books as of late. Once I start coloring the first few pages I can`t stop....
If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a Twosome... Why is Handsome still a compliment?
I have no time or patience for games in my relationships. Unless by “games” you’re referring to naked Twister. I can make time for that.
There`s a Bullying Support Group meeting, tomorrow night at 8 ... You`d better f*cking be there.
Wesley Snipes was released from prison this week. Now he can finally begin filming "Blade 4: Twilight."
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can’t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.