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"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality
I think Tampax and Hershey`s should get together and offer a super pack....
Some of you take selfies from so close up, I`m beginning to wonder if you`re a T-Rex.
Don’t piss off old people. The older they get, the less ‘life in prison’ is a deterrent.
Dracula had impeccable hair for a guy who couldn’t see himself in a mirror.
I`m outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios.
Dear Tequila, you were supposed to make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.
Golf is such a strange game. You shout four, shoot six, and write down five.
OK look, if I meet you for a date and you don`t look anything like your pic, then you`re buying drinks for me until you do.
People says nothing is imposible.. But i do nothing everyday!!
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
Can I just drop it like it’s luke warm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.
How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?