Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My wife is going to the hair salon today so for the next few hours I will be practising my reaction.
If a girl can kick your a$$ at video games, she’s a keeper.
Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
Be friend with stupid people.., feel like genius all the time
“Nevermind.” Translation... You should’ve listened the first time.
Fox canceled Cops. So I guess if I want to stay current on what my family is up to now, I`ll have to turn to Facebook.
All the good ones are either taken or imaginary.
I`m not sure who looks more frightened & confused when someone knocks on my door, the dog or me?
a walk in the woods helps me to relax and release tension the fact that I`m dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant.
awkward moment when the dentist is talking to you with his hands on your mouth
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
One way to find out if you`re old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you`re young, if they panic, you`re old.
I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?