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My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she pours gasoline around your car.
I can buy my own sugar. What I need is an insurance daddy.
If jail isn`t supposed to be fun, why do they get bunk beds?
“Let’s hang out sometime.” - liars
Brains are awesome! I wish everyone had one...
A normal person is just someone you don`t know well enough yet.
Babies are so cute because none of them are mine.
eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.
I bet the guy that was looking forward to his next life and came back reincarnated as me is really disappointed.
I never fail to win at Rock, Paper, Scissors when I pick up the other person and throw them out the window.
Those beards make the Red Sox look like they`re going to a Civil War reenactment as Confederates.
Have you ever loved someone so much deep in your heart, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping.
I don`t know exactly who`s health I`m drinking to, but they`re going to be immortal at this rate
I can`t believe these women are just walking around with yoga mats like a game of yoga might just break out at any moment