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I`m going to make a bucket list: Things I`m going to do before I kick the bucket. Number 1: WEAR SHOES!!!
The hardest part about being rejected is that I end up liking them even more as a person for their ability to make great decisions.
Rapper; "I`m killing them snitches, smacking then bitches, smokin blunts and f*ckin hoes!" *wins award* Rapper: "I just wanna thank god.."
With all the technology these days, you`d think they would come up with an Online Gym where losing weight would be a click away
If you can`t fix it with duct tape or beer ... it ain`t worth fixin`
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
Why are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison.
There’s always that last setting on your windshield wipers that makes you go “damn, calm the f*ck down!”
Life is like “Facebook” – People will like your problems & comment; But no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn’t doing his part of the chores around here.
I have finally conquered my annoying habit of repeatedly pressing the snooze button every morning by programming my alarm clock to play lullabies!
I hate it when I open my fridge and get punched by a bear... =/
Newton`s third law of emotion. For every male action there is a female overreaction.
I`m gonna just take a quick nap before I go to bed.
I don’t think my inner child is ever moving out.